Masochist or romantic. You be the judge.

I am sitting here reflecting why I am painting with my ex boyfriend pad. Am I doing to say a good-bye. To put a mark on the room so he can always remember me. Or am I just doing it to rolling the enviable. I just don't know right now. All I know is that I want to spend as much time together until we have to say good-bye. Who loses?? Me??