The serpant....

A dream. A waterside. A man (Robert) fights for your honor while a dream man pinches your boob. Really!

 A realization that when ever you speak about rekationship and try to relate you always bring him up. It feels hallow but it's the only you can feel like you are part of the conversation. You have this past. This garden of Eden mixed with with a serpant. You wonder, does he do this too???

Did he have sub-human emotions!

I was was told for so long I just did not get it. It's funny cause I still sometimes read his blogs (yes tell me off)...and I get every fucking reference but somehow I just never got it.....

We would argue. We would talk. We would converse. I according to him never got anything. He wanted someone to agree to his sub human emotions. 

Maybe she had some super powers that I never could never ever possibly acquire. I wish her good luck on her journey. Hope she can has a fucking fucking degree in decoding crap!

Secrets...

I know that no one around me has ever gone through what I have gone through. Everyone tells me they are impressed with who I have become. I'm not sure if I an just numb or I just processed and moved on. 

All I know is that I am scared all the time. It feels good to let out my little secret. I had to give up everything I ever wanted to just to be sain. There is no point in holding onto a future that you have no idea if it will ever exist. 

Another secret. I have no idea what I am doing. I have no direction. I exist. Parts of me are changing but I have no idea what the future holds.  Maybe that is the beauty of it all.