Secrets...

I know that no one around me has ever gone through what I have gone through. Everyone tells me they are impressed with who I have become. I'm not sure if I an just numb or I just processed and moved on. 

All I know is that I am scared all the time. It feels good to let out my little secret. I had to give up everything I ever wanted to just to be sain. There is no point in holding onto a future that you have no idea if it will ever exist. 

Another secret. I have no idea what I am doing. I have no direction. I exist. Parts of me are changing but I have no idea what the future holds.  Maybe that is the beauty of it all.