Friday, 29 November 2013

The allure of a women

The allure of of a sexy women. The scent of a women. The grace of her neck, the pout of her lips. The intensity of her eyes.

I have been watching Mad Men for a week or so now. It always seems that men have all the power and then it struck me that women actually do. Women can wrap a man around her little finger if she knows how. 

Maybe it was another of the simple bits of Angelo's advice that he bestowed upon me that seeped into my brain. He told me once that a guy can read exactly into what the girl wants. I know it is about the chase. The allure. I thought games are childish and immature. It dawned on me that the most powerful tool you can have is confidence. He told me I was confident but I was not really not in his eyes. I realize now that I have to value myself. My self doubt was seeping through. It was giving me away. I need to separate the old from the new. I need to be confident in me. The new me. The one I am slowly discovering. 
 
It is almost sexy how you as a women can attract a man with simple words. I have the power of words. I have power of beauty. I have the power if being me. 

The allure of a women can be intoxicating. ..when she is confident. 

Sunday, 3 November 2013

Life sucks

Life sucks. Plain and simple. You read your ex's blog and you realize that life sucks for him too. The magic is gone. You should get some satisfaction knowing he is miserable. But life sucks and all you can feel is a deep missing for a person who no longer exists. 

It was my moms birthday and I had my first dinner party here. I needed to keep busy cause a guest was missing. I need to always keep busy to hide my inner termoil.

A hammer discovered for a friend, a missed call in the middle of the night, a jerk telling you that you did not love, life is just treading along. 

One person, my best friend is always missing from it all. Life sucks and I want the opportunity to rewind it all. To do everything different. To learn from all my mistakes and possibly do everything different all over again. 

I wonder why I am still connected to him. He speaks in codes and I speak plainly. Like sucks and I am ready for it to not suck anymore.