Catfish 2.0

I think there is a new form of catfish that exists. One that should probably be in the dictionary.  One not based on fake profile pics and gender but one based on men luring you into a web of their own fantasy. It's self made!

I think men act like they think they should act to attract you. Yes. Yes. Yes. Men are drawn to the chase but deceit is just as prevalent with an honest profile pic. 

Conversations are had. Secrets are shared. Men are drawn in. 

Reality sets in and no you are not a porn star. You are not a size two. Yes all your pics are recent. You are just not that imaginary girl that they made up in their heads. 

You are real. You are you. In text life why are you a blast but in real life you never seem to fit the fantasy. 

Ughhh. Even I cringe at my own analogy. Like a fine wine I get better with time. Most often on a first date nerves play into everything. Your true self is never revealed. 

I want a baby?? That so bad??

I do. It's probably been my dream for my whole entire Iife. 

I used to dream of the day I would have my own kid. My friends do not know how lucky they truly are. I'm so scared all the time that it will never happen to me. That being a mother was something I always knew I would be amazing at. 

No one ever gets me. I'm running out of time. Can I have a child with anyone?  No. I actually see the time ticking away. 36 soon and honestly I'm freaking out.  

Relationship girl

Uuugh I'm probably seriously not cut out for dating. I'm probably not cut out for being a girl whose casual. I'm relationship girl. Honestly it's really everything I know. 

Trust me I'm not shoving a relationship down anyone throat. I'm probably more scared than most to actually pursue one but maybe in some guys eyes I scare them. 

Haha. Doubt it. Me contemplating my rejections and covering it up with a smile.