Act like you are in competition.

Hmmmm. Probably one of the best pieces is advice I have been ever been given.  

A moment...

It is two years soon we broke up. I have had a million years to think and process us. I know we were never meant to be. I know we were toxic together. We did not grow as people. You want to know my problem with you and will always be my problem with you.  You treated me like a piece of shit. You lied. You cheated and you hurt me after the fact. It will always seem like you went out of you way to hurt me. You became a stranger. I'm not sure why you did all that. I'm not sure why you left me to deal with everything all alone. I'm not sure why you you never told me everything. I'm not sure why you never had the gusts to tell me you were getting married. I  lost my best friend. Not because we broke up but because you forgot I was a person. You forgot me. I will always feel like you went out of your way to hurt me. Why ?? so I got over you? Done. But I will never be over the over how you treated me.  I was your best friend.  I can not wrap my brain around it. You would hurt me on purpose. Granted I am the strongest person I could ever be. But you destroyed my faith in good people. For what? To show me you were done with us??

You ignore my letter, it was harsh. It was everything you deserved to hear. I write this now to release me. I need to put the guilt and anger back on you. You hurt someone. Deal with it. I no longer want to carry it around. 

I need a moment 

It's all about timing....

Everything comes down to timing. The guy I went on a date with. The most perfect date. His father is dying. 

A couple months back he told me his dad was given a month to live. We spoke about it briefly but I kinda figured he wanted and needed a distraction. I followed up a couple times but I got the feeling he did not want to talk about it. I left it alone. I can even imagine the pain he is in. 

After our date, he sent me a text letting me know his dad had taken a turn for the worse and it would be a matter of days. I followed up a couple times but I'm not really sure what my place is here. If he were my friend or boyfriend I would be there every day for him. But we are nothing except two people who get along and had a great date 

I don't know him well enough to really know what he needs. Some like to talk. Some like be alone. Some need a distraction. I'm not really sure what he needs. 

So basically it all comes down to timing. I know I want to see this guy again. I'm just not sure when our second date will be.  If there will be one...

It's all about timing. 

And the truth hurts. I guess

So in an attemp to fill up some time. I started talking to a guy who was younger. Honestly he bored me but I was bored and looking to chat for shits and giggles. Anywho, I was like I think he's into me and I know I am not. He was calling me all the time ectra ectra. So I did not want to be a guy and do the ignorning thing so I told him that It was not going to work. Sorry. He was too young. Did think we got along bla bla bla. I thought since he was a nice guy he deserved not to be let on. Haha I was so wrong. He called me and demanded to know why. Honestly I was not going to say that he bored me or that I did not feel any type of connection. Geeze we only spoke for like a week. Really. Is that not the point to see if we have anything in common. Anyways. He basically told me off and acted like a complete GIRL. Actually worse. I actually never ask people why?? I just figured I'm not for everyone. Not everyone has to like me. And it's OKAY!

Lol. I was told by a friend to ignorn him. Trust me from now on when I'm not interested. I will. I guess the truth hurts. 

Oh well...