The beauty of oblivion

As I debated with a good mutual friend the benefits of me not bring told directly by my ex. Me have an extra day of oblivion. She said she told him directly to not tell me. She felt it was selfish and self serving. One more way for him to ease his guilt. 

There is beauty in oblivion. 

Going to the Hindi Chaple....

Well my ex got married. Shocker!! I found out through all my friends who believed that I deserved the respect to learn the information not via social media but through a warm embrace. 

I'm not gonna lie, I think I am still In shock but I'm okay. It hurts on so many levels that I can not even begin to explain but somehow I see that the man he has become, the coward he has developed into is my gain. 

The simple statement that my ex has a wife puts my mind into a full blown melt down. The idea that someone supersedes me. That they are the one that got everything I ever wanted from him. That he is a hypocrite. That I am alone while he has a wife. I'm being punished for some sin I can not remember commiting. 

I know I make no sense. I'm just a girl in utter pain but I'm also a girl who had to use all this pain to make something out of myself. This soap opera life that is mine needs to be a thing of the past. I need a clean slate. I need to be free of the bondage that has been chocking me. I need to finally breath. 

Chopsticks for one

Clark street right? A familiar statement from the Japanese resturant owner. 

I went to my favourite little sushi place and when I purchased my take out sushi, for the first time ever I said chopsticks for one. 

I'm single and it's time I stop pretending to my Japenese resturant owner. I might not be willing to admit I moved but I'm willing to accept that I only need chopsticks for one. 

All in a days work!

Strawberry fields

This he acknolwdges and remembers. I guess since I'm not a ghost cat, I matter not at all. Oh well. 

Goats on your birthday!!

So I have gone "twitter/blog"" cold turkey for three weeks. Once my ex did not acknowledged my birthday. Once I realize evidently the guy I spend 17 years with does not give a shit about me enough to wish a "best friend" happy birthday. That it was time to forget about the biggest loser of my life. He is an ass. He has moved on and clearly any connection with me is unimportant. I mean nothing. It can be quiet liberating to know that you mean nothing. You would think it would distroy you rather it motivates you to find your inner peace and happiness. 

He thought about finding a mountain goat on my birthday. How very bohemian of him. He is exactly where he needs to be. Hopefully and I am mean this with all hearts and love it will bring him straight to hell. 

Ps. Billy goat, billy goat rah rah rah!