It is 4:20 in the morning and I am up. It has been a month of interrupted sleep and I feel like it is getting worse. I fell asleep to a movie tonight-Big Fish but woke up to a nightmare about her wiping away your tears and have been up since.
I have my trainer coming tomorrow at 9 am. God I need to sleep to start healing and taking control if my life. My friends invited me to watch the game at a sports bar. I want to be in.
I feel so sick right now. My body hurts, I am nauseous and I am dead tired.
How can I heal if I can't sleep? When you sleep does your body not repaired itself. I need sleep. Sleep should be my sweet reprieve. A time to forget before I have to wake-up and face the day.
Looking at condos is stressing me out. I keep on thinking that 2 years ago when we found this, it felt like all the stars aligned. Now I have to do this all on my own. I have to live alone. I am so scared.
Just as an FYI. My blog is private. He doesn't know about it. It is my way to figure out my shit.
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