A friend said recently, I just was not around for the last little while. I have been thinking about that statement a lot. I was gone. But was I just gone for all of my friends? Or was I gone from myself too. I know the last year, I was in a little bubble with my new house. I really did not want to hang with anyone. I was nesting. I only wanted to hang with Robert. This is not like me. Was I depressed? Was I pushing everyone away? Was I tired? Did I feel too fat to hang out in public?
It was not like me. I used to have girls night all the time. I used to host girls night all the time. It became a chore. Why? When I did go out, I used to want to go home cause he was there or I relished the fact that I had the place to myself. I became a loner. Why?
I still spoke and saw my best friend, her kid, my parents, my nephew religiously. But I seemed to shut everyone else out. Why did I do that? It was un-healthy. Now I know that I have push myself to reconnect with these friends.
I was actually starting too before the whole break-up. One of my good friends moved 2 mins away from our house. I was excited to see her all the time. I had so many plans for us!!
I feel like my disconnect from friends, has caused me to disconnect from life and made me less. It changed me. I want to get that party animal back. She was fun!!
I think he missed her. I miss her. She had a lot of life. Why did I change?
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