A chance

It finally dawned on me that you did not give our relationship another chance because of her. You were already in la la land.

And I find that the hardest part to deal with. Everyone gets another chance. Without it, I am feeling unsettled.

But those are my feelings. Those are my emotions to deal with. The unfairness of it all, kills me.

You already defend her like she is something special in your life. She is already. You know details and stories about her life. You have feeling for her and because of those feelings you are not giving us another chance.

You are running away into the arms of someone else. Do you know how hurtful that is to me. Do you know how that devalues our relationship- me?

I have let you go. You need to go. You need to get this out of your system. You need to find what you are looking for. It is not a mistake that you are searching for answers. You would have always been searching for someone else and perhaps that is why our relationship was the way it was. You were never fully committed and I felt that. Maybe that is what I needed to realize all along.

You once put a quote out there for me about revealing my disappointment in our marriage and from there our friendship could flourish. I am slowly started to see how things were. I am slowly started to see that you checked out a long time ago. I am slowly starting to see that you were never happy. It was not fair to me. To us even to you.

I'm not sure why I am not the girl for you. I thought you were the boy for me. I know that I need to date to see if that is even true. I think you need to date in order for you to figure that out too. We both have alot of growing to do before I think we can ever make a decision about our future. If a common future even exists at this point.