If God is in me he is a Tumor!

I'm watching an old series called OZ right now. The line struck me as very profound. It can either be one feeling very sorry for oneself or it can be the truth that God is looking down on all of us laughing. 

I'm not sure what my truth is. I know that this year I have been thrown one too many curve balls. I know I get up every morning and try. But it always seems like their is another obstacle in my way. 

Money- or lack there of, boys who don't call, friends who disappear, a longing for a best friend who probably doesn't care, a boss who is on a mission to make my life miserable. 

I feel run down, defeated. 

But I try so hard. I'm not even sure why. I'm not even sure why I find the will to wake up each day. 

Maybe that is what they all see. My pain is so transparent. I give myself away. 

Maybe it is all one big joke and someday maybe I'll laugh too.