I wonder....

I wonder if I misread the signs. I wonder if I misread the person. I wonder if I said way too much. I wonder if I messed up my chances. I wonder if I even had a chance. 

I went on the most boring date last night. Not only did he misrepresent himself but I felt like I was on a date with a 50 year old man. There was no fun, no flirting, no laughter. Honestly from the minute I sat down I was ready to leave. An early flight was a perfect excuse to leave. Please no need to walk me to my door. I think he knew I was no interested. 

Then it dawned on me. There has been one person in the last year that I look forward to his texts. I look forward to seeing him. I think I make up excuses or try to be just about hooking up with him just so I can hang with him. When I don't see him for awhile I want to see him. Everyone I meet is never as fun as him. I think I think I had to be someone that he wanted to hook up with. That fun carefree girl who did not want anything from him. 

I think I might ask him on a date. A real date. One with dinner and anticipation of kissing afterwards. It might be backwards. It is backwards. 

I wonder if I should. I wonder if he was the guy jean spoke about during my reading???