Set me free

The minute you walked on that plane you set me free. You gave me the ultimate slap in the face. I never wanted you at that point. You disregarded our whole life together. You cheapened our love. You cheapened the friendship we built, the life I though we were headed too. You could have been a man and not let me die inside. Once I realized you were such a coward. Someone I could never be with. Someone I could never trust. My whole view on you changed. I'm not sure who you became. I'm not sure who I was with. But the person I grew up with did not turn out to be a nice person. He became ugly. 

You wonder why? You caused it. You had the most perfect oulit. You just choose to not use her. You are still blaming me. Making excuses. I could not provide. Did you ever think the minute you kissed a other girl you ruined everything between us. I am so tired of being put down by you. My capabilities as a friend As a confident, as a person wanting to help have always been one if my best qualities. When you hurt I also hurt too. 

I saw your dimise Robert. I felt every heart break that you felt. I was helpless. All you ever did was push me away. Always. 

You judged me so harshly our whole relationship. You should have always looked at yourself. You were an ugly person. But despite that I found and saught the good of you. 

I feel sorry for you. You will never really know what it really means to love another person with your whole entire heart. With your whole entire body. That you would die if you are not with them. I loved you with with everything I had. You can never ever say you did. And that is sad. 

I would have never did the things you did. I respected us too much and you. I already knew. I figured it all out way back. You should have come clean when you had the chance. 

The reason I reach out to you now is not because I would ever in my lifetime want you back but because I thought I built something special in my life. It has to mean something. It had to mean I had a friend. 

You unloaded for yourself Robert. I did not need know right now. It was my choice when I needed that information. Your confession will not ever obsolve you. It will not push me away. I am already gone. You will spend your whole life looking for a fraction of what we had. A night in a park, a date or two or three, does not make a lifetime. It is your best personal amplified. These girls or girl will never know you until you stop being scared. You are looking for something that does not exist. I knew you and loved you despite of all the bull. Most will never stay around to know the real Robert. 

My advice. Grow up. Life is passing you by. There is so much more to be discovered. A whole world that is beautiful. That you are missing by being scared.