I have no game. I actually tried for the fuck of it and you know what maybe I misread signals but I tried to play a game I'm very ill-equipped to play. My friends wanted me too.
I learnt online that I actually have a voice. What I said was interesting. My friend said cause of that I do not know how to flirt or communicate. Funny thing is I never did. I never had game. I have always felt shy and akward until I feel like I can be me. I feel like people do not feel I am cool enough, funny enough and intelligent enough to participate.
It's funny cause all those people think I am one person. I get it all the time. Confident. Aggressive. Assertive. They think they know me but no one does. I am really just fabulous at hiding it or everyone is a fucking idiot.
My flaws show all the time...
This is actually not the point. I went out with the intentions to have fun and I came home feeling like a piece of shit. I'm not that girl that everyone will stop in their tracks and adore. I'm not the hottest thing on the face of the earth. Honestly, I feel so ugly right now that hanging on my couch is way more fun.
I always knew that my personality is my saving grace. That's why online appealed to me. That is why through words I found a piece of me that I realized was truly interesting, fun, appealing.
Going out. Seeing people. Being shy me in my body showed me that I'm not anything anyone would be interested in. trust me I actually tried. I never have but you would think that I could have some positive reinforcement.
Funny it's like online dating but sped up. My personality can't save me I'm too shy and my looks are not desirable.
I sometimes wish I could switch into another person's body.
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